Dan strikes a pose. I’ve seen it many a time and I always think of it as ‘The Full Bubbles’ after the Trailer Park Boys character that he is fantastic at impersonating. Even two decades later I can picture it clearly in an instant and the memory always makes me smile. The exact quote is lost to me but with his most wonderful combination of innocence and incredulity he asks something to the effect of “if you crashed your car into a tree would you have it towed to Ford to demand a warranty replacement?”
I often wonder if these sorts of mountain bikers treat everything in their life the way they treat their bicycle. Warranties cover defects in manufacturing and materials. Not servicing your fork for three years and having the bushings eat the stanchions is not a defect. Or, at least not a defect with your 10K+ pedal-powered Ferrari.
That’s Not A Warranty is a new series that, in my wildest dreams, will save folks a lot of shipping, keep a bunch of parts and clothing out of landfills, and save me from some of the ridiculous conversations, live and via e-mail, that I’ve experienced.
First up, let’s talk about squeaking pedals. Squeaking pedals do not represent a defect in manufacturing or materials, they represent a defect in rider expectations. Sadly, and it’s exactly the same with dropper post seal heads, companies do the math and realize that the number of pedal warranty considerations they’ll have to process because of squeaking is significantly lower than if they actually grease them properly at the factory and, gods forbid, a tiny bit of excess grease purges.
This should go without saying, but if you have a set of fairly fresh pedals that start squeaking don’t just keep riding them hoping it will go away. Shit’s dry, it needs lube – this is a pretty universal thing for sliding surfaces v. friction n’est-ce pas? Pull the body, grease the seal, no big deal.
My wife runs OneUp composite pedals for year-round cycle commuting and on her mountain bike and I use them as my base pedal for any shoe reviews I’m working on. So, I’m not intending to single them out at all, we just really like their composite pedals so there are a few sets around the house.
I’ve experienced totally dry lip seals, and horrendous squeaking action, from a plethora of brands and price points with both aluminum and composite pedals. And yes, all the OneUp Composite pedals we own have squeaked at some point, at least one side, to remind us that they need to be fed. The best part is once you’ve drowned the seals in grease – and cleaned off the excess for 1-2 rides afterward – you’ll most likely never have to do it again! And if you do, either stop using whatever shit grease you have at home or congrats on being able to get out for so many rides – you’re a lucky person.
And hey, I get it. Not everyone owns a 6mm hex key and an 8mm or 9mm socket. Wait, they don’t? Huh. Okay, so if you don’t own a socket set then take the pedals to whatever shop you bought them from and they’ll get you sorted no problem. This is a quick-quick and easy-easy job but please do remember we are in that magical spring-summer season so you may need to leave them for a couple hours to get squeezed in.
Didn’t buy your pedals from a shop? No problem. Do expect to pay some monies for the combined time & materials. Even ignoring what your time, and downtime, is worth once you binge eat that yogurt in your fridge, discover the container’s too small to ship two pedals, raid the cardboard bin in your apartment building, resize that pungently perfumed diaper box, and pay for shipping I doubt you’re saving much money. Now factor in the time.
It’s not a warranty. It’s an easy fix.
P.S. Also, you should buy a socket set. You deserve it.