Monday Musing (#39) – Mumble, Grumble, Grouse, and Groan; Humble Rider Loves The Zone.

Yeah, so. Climbing a bicycle. If you’re doing it properly, it’s supposed to hurt. Legs burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb. That’s why it’s called cycling! You love it.

When Claire first started mountain bicycling, I gifted her the same advice that I present to every new rider. If you want to love mountain biking, you have to learn to love to climb. The faster you become, the higher percentage of your time on every out-and-back, pedal-and-plunge, door-to-door ride is going to be grinding uphill. 

It was a couple of years ago now that she really figured it out. As she started to truly know a few of our regular after-school rips, the downhill portions flew by. And yes, she’s punching out the climbs quicker as well, but in the timeless words of Greg Lemond, “It never gets easier, you just go faster.” 

Yeah, so. Climbing a bicycle. If you’re doing it properly, it’s supposed to hurt. Legs burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb. That’s why it’s called cycling! You love it.

Heart pounding, lungs begging for air, recover, and punch it, and recover, and punch it.  So, yeah, mountain biking is hard, that’s a significant part of what makes it awesome, and that’s never more true when the trail is both steep and technically challenging. Or, steep and relentless. Or, relentless and technically challenging. 

And where the adrenaline rush of descending a bicycle in the forest is instinctively appealing even to folks who’ve never tried off-road riding, I don’t think anyone is born loving to climb. Actually, I don’t think it can even truly be taught. Demonstrated, yes. But the process of gaining enlightenment is a simple two-stage process of understanding that a love of suffering is the key, and then mentally committing to opening the lock.

It’s all you.  

Yeah, so. Climbing a bicycle. If you’re doing it properly, it’s supposed to hurt. Legs burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb. That’s why it’s called cycling! You love it.

Now, for the record, I’m not claiming it’s a joyous love. It’s not rainbows and puppy dogs, it’s lava-legs and amateur acupuncture. I know plenty of folks who grin when they’re grinding uphill, but it’s not the same sort of euphoric joy that accompanies creating their own flow on un-flowable janky trails, or reenacting the Endor chase through tight trees with friends. It’s a suffering smile, a manic mirth, more smirk than simper. 

And, while deep down you have to love the grind in the aggregate, no one is suggesting you have to enjoy every second of it, or even to suffer in silence. Grouse, mumble, grumble, whinge, moan, groan. Anyone who knows, knows. We’re celebrating you for your cleanest-ever climb up the No Quarter trail, not counting the number of times you yelled “SHUT UP LEGS” into the ether. 

Yeah, so. Climbing a bicycle. If you’re doing it properly, it’s supposed to hurt. Legs burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb, burning, numb. That’s why it’s called cycling! You love it.

I’ve been boldly making this love-to-climb claim for years, and I’m certain it’s no surprise that I’ve received regular push-back. Lots of folks have told me they love mountain biking and don’t love, or even hate, the uphill. Some have even angrily asked who I think I am to define what mountain biking is – shuttles, chairlifts, pedal-assisted-motors – there are plenty of ways to skip the burning legs and still surf two wheels on dirt. 

Touché, opinion noted. I humbly admit, submit, that I’m no arbiter for what is and isn’t included in this activity. But from the perspective of blending playing with bicycles in the forest with suffering being good for the soul, I still believe that pedaling is half the point. Then you become faster downhill, and it’s 2/3 the point. Then you become faster downhill, and it’s 3/4 the point. 

I find a lot of the climbs I do very humbling. I certainly don’t love every moment of burning legs and lungs and a heartbeat drumming Ace of Spades. But, I maintain that a huge part of my forever love of mountain bicycling comes from grinding through that zone. 

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