Dumpster Bear Says (An Archive & Introduction)

I get asked about ol’ Dumpy-B more than any sticker on my bike. Actually, I semi-regularly get requests for where to get a ‘Dumpster Bear’ sticker, which is an almost impossible question to answer. I mean, you sort of have one or you don’t.

Contrary to a story I’ve heard many times, I’m not in any way responsible for my friend Kelly having the nickname Dumpster Bear. I wasn’t even on the ride where our mutual friend Mark (AKA ‘Shit Nonsense Buffalo’ or SNB) bestowed it upon him. I have no artistic talent myself (as you will plainly see in a minute), so even beyond the name, credit should go fully to Kelsie for the ongoing permeation of the DB legend through the creation of stickers and a Dumpster Bear action figure.

Yes, there’s a Dumpster Bear action figure. And, probably, more importantly, yes the Dumpster Bear is a real person. He rides bikes, plays goalie in hockey (a lot), and he’s a long time mechanic-turned-purchaser in the bicycle industry.

Dumpster Bear on every bike.

Anyway, long before I had MEATengines as a hobby, I created* a (usually) single-panel webcomic in MS-Paint called ‘Dumpster Bear Says’ (DBS) in an attempt to entertain my friends. And maybe also, just a little bit, to diffuse my politics into discussions. I occasionally had success on both fronts and also built up enough localized notoriety that when Microsoft announced they were ending Paint, some years back now, there was something like an outpouring of cheeky ‘check-ins’ and consolations to be sure that I was weathering the storm.

I’ve been asked about it a handful of times over the last year or so. I haven’t made a new one in years and those that I did make are buried on social media, so it’s not like people are going to randomly come across them. But I suppose they get talked about enough in my extended friend groups that tens of people have heard of DBS but have never seen one.

I’m going to change that today, but first a disclaimer. These are a selection of the best of what I made (there were at least 40x pieces at one time), but I’m not claiming they’re any good. I’m offering them without context but I don’t think context is needed for most of them.

Enjoy?!

*I note here that the definition of ‘create’ is merely to bring something into existence and includes no positive connotation.