‘Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the shop;

Rum & eggnogs were poured, and all working had stopped.

The front doors were bolted, the metal gates had a lock;

I looked up at the wall, and it said four o’clock.

I was sat on the floor, just enjoying my beer;

Then most suddenly, there was a noise I could hear.

What began as a knock, well then grew to a bang;

The door started to rattle, and then a voice sang:

“Are you still open? I can hear you in there.“

I looked up at my boss; found myself volunteered.

I arose from my spot, pushed the door just a crack.

I looked at the man, and he grinned right back,

“I’ve come here so that, you can help with my strife;“

“I require a most thoughtful gift, for my wife.“

So I then asked the man, what he thought she would like?

He smiled at me hugely, and announced “A new bike!“

“Then what sort of riding, does your wife like to do?” 

He replied with: “She doesn’t… something she’ll get into.“

“Then what sort of a bike, do you think that she’ll need?”

“One of those cruisers, probably single-speed.“

I tried to explain, that North Van is not flat,

But the man was not having, even one word of that.

“How tall is your wife?” I asked through the gate.

He indicated somewhere from five-two to five-eight.

We just happened to have, a machine that should fit;

So a wrench quickly checked it, and I processed it.

And as that said bike, descended from the stand,

The full-sized SALE tag, fell right off in Matt’s hand. 

Then the man asked me, through a deep frown,

“Does it come in some colour, other than brown?“

But he pulled out his card, he was paying on vinyl,

And I said, “Merry Christmas, tonight’s sales are all final.”

Then I watched as he walked the rig out to his truck;

And then toss it in back, like he didn’t give a fuck.

A co-worker yelled “SHIT!”, as he drove out of sight;

“Drew I just spilled your beer, here’s a fresh one alright?”